OR: Almost LRs.. Women & Natural Game

OR: Almost LRs.. Women & Natural Game

They are so ..wierd.. well.. from what I thought they were like. Honestly..

We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.




Night 1 -

Essentially I was out with my friends spent time between some walkable places in and around mid-town.

A dinner date / friend of buddy was HB-Boobs who provoked me (not really in terms of attraction) on why I dont drink alcohol. I take that with a smile and apply some counter logic etc and we have a fun back n forth where.. Im relaxed & enjoying the process because I DID NOT CARE TO WIN OVER HER POINT OF VIEW.. WHEREASE SHE DID. An attempt to have a certain outcome comes with one DEPENDENCE.. which is a weakness... Dependence on OUTCOME and hence dependence on that need to be validated.

BE THE PROCESS, ENJOY THE PROCESS.. DONT THINK ABOUT THE RESULT.

As a reason of those arguments .. several of which she started or she said and I insinuated so that she would reapproach me.. ended up firing her brains.. tease.. hug.. hey chill.. I dont mean anything I say.. I am going to bullshit all night long and I dont want you to take it to the heart..She
d say I was X, Y, Z... (negative adjectives).. Yes, I AM X.. I am complete loser.. with a big smile which says something COMPLETELY opposite. IT SAYS.. YOU CAN SAY WHAT YOU WANT.. I DONT NEED YOUR VALIDATION... MY PERCEPTION OF ME IS BASED ON ME..and IT REMAINS UNSHAKEN..

The second that you become defensive you are killing your strength.

She would get offensive and find that all her 'sticks & stones' would slide over me like a greased monkey.. who smiled..

YOUR OPPONENT WILL GET INTIMIDATED IF ALL THEIR STRIKES CAUSE YOU TO SMILE BACK AT THEM..

Lots of things happened that night.. that are mentionable here.. but Im bored of it..

End of night.. we are heading back to parked cars and she kicks me from behind.. slightly.. I turn smile.. do that again and you are in trouble.

IF YOU TELL YOUR OPPONENT TO NOT DO SOMETHING "OR ELSE" THEY ARE HIGHLY LIKELY TO DO IT.

She does.. and I dont know what kick fired inside. I turn.. and rush towards her (she is with 1 buddy) .. I had no idea what I was going to do.. hit her or what.. but I was in the moment.. I dont know what the people thought I was going to do.. I WAS IN THE MOMENT>.

The HB Boobs is on her back on the floor on the road in the middle of the street in front of popular lounge. I dont know cause I dont remember hitting her.... but that she went on super defensive..I TICKLED HER SENSELESS.. HER BOOBS present but neglected.. but I TICKLED her SENSELESS..

"See what u get".. ok "Say sorry". I dont say sorry etc..

I lift her up with buddy.. LOL!. Start humming my song again.. walk. 5 minutes later she is apologizing etc.. Im saying hey.. I did not take anything she said ..in.. I was bullshittin and there was no offense taken.. She wont stop..feeling guilty.. I grab her nose, her cheeks.. give her a hug..Somewhere in between I might have noticed her NIPPLES ERECT and pressing VISIBLY out of her CLEAVAGE top unlike before and somtime before she had "fuck me" eyes.

We call it a night.

PS: I have some ethics, rules and filters. She could've been an easy target and close.. but there are a lot of reasons why I chose not to. If someone wants to know more.. ask


Night 2 -

I was out with my friends at the I-fest and bumped into a lot of people.. old & new. Lots of all day chilled out interaction with HBs (models..), busting, talking, flirting. When I mentioned that, didnt we also meet at X before.. She's like yeah.. you have my number.. (remembers giving it to me.. me not calling her.. and / or remembering her.. or her name).

ONE THING I HIGHLY ENCOURAGE... BE AROUND A LOT OF WOMEN.. e.g. I used to have a lot of female friends as a part of my circle back in the day and being around them, busting each others chops, sarcastic casual flirting etc, kino etc came easy with them around. An ACQUIRED ART.. versus the need to LEARN IT FROM SCRATCH thingy..

YOU GET DE-SENSITIZED TO THEIR SO CALLED FEMALE POWERS, UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ARE THEIR "AFC" LJBF BOY. BUT YOU KNOW BETTER NOW.

THERE IS NO NEED TO DIS-RESPECT THEM.. SO KEEP THAT BALANCE AT EQUAL.. but with a slight EDGE of UNPREDICTABLE, CRAZY or ECCENTRIC about you. This need not be artificial.. we all have QUIRKS that can be ACCENTUATED..in a POSITIVE FRAME..BINDING THAT YOU ARE TOTALLY COMFORTABLE IN YOUR SKIN...

(NO INSECURITIES STEMMING FROM CERTAIN ATTRIBUTES ABOUT YOURSELF... OR LABELED TO YOU BY OTHERS).

So the day was spent tiring myself out at the fest, talking to a lot of HB Models. Most people will think.. how come you did not # close, game theme etc. Lots of dynamics in play.

When you get into a gathering through a social circle member then you do not want to be "labeled" the guy who always chases ass.

Nothing says NEEDY more than a PUA who does not know when to START and when to STOP. Remember its called pick up ARTIST. An artist is an inspired creative being with urges / wants.. not desperate needs .. to express ones creative desires & outcomes.

So.. I head home.. take some rest and jump back into the scene.. meet with friends at a lounge..

NOTHING IS GOING TO MAKE YOUR NIGHT OR MAKE YOU HAPPIER THAN TO BE OUT WITH A GENUINE SET OF FRIENDS WHO YOU CAN "RELATE WITH" AT SEVERAL LEVELS. THIS IS YOUR STATE ENHANCER, BUILDER and "DONT GIVE A FUCK" enhancer.

I realized somewhere down the line that I did not really want to become a social robot.

I've been very genuinely interested in knowing and deeply connecting with this small bunch of cool people who had the same mindset and we've made great close friends.. really really fast. Its ironic how the world turns.. TO add to it.. I'll give a old phrase..

BROS BEFORE HOS..

To elaborate on it.. Even your female friends are your BROS.. BROS.. encompasses your 'close circle of friends' or those that can be included into that circle. You define it.. people that bring energy into your circle

HOS.. not necessarily bitchy or slutty girls.. HOS.. are anyone who wants drain energy out of you..or ur circle.. (broadly)..

Note: This definition is subject to change upon accumulation of more sleep.

Long story short we merge merge merge into 'circles' where one person knows another, knows someone etc. What I've learnt is, this can be applied to "known circles with gatekeepers" or "unknown circles with gatekeepers" or others that fall in the middle. To REALLY LEARN HOW TO DO THIS AT A SUBCONCIOUS LEVEL.. YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO DO IT WITH THE FIRST TYPE.

ONE GREAT THING I HAVE SEEN GOOD PUAs who Ive met in person, talked with a lot, hung out and kept in touch with.. exhibited a great quality I always had from the past. THEY MIX CIRCLES. THEY BRING FRIENDS FROM DIFFERENT GROUPS AND MIX THEM. Asian Playboy, Prophet & the DALLAS LAIR guys do a great job of this.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? ------- WE SHOULD ADDRESS THIS.

Chill at venue 1. Move to party at venue 2. Kick back relax etc. A lot of people pick on my 'water drinking' / non alcohol and provides room for conflict building (friendly.. please). Brings out another set of areas where you can chat with people. But, that gets people talking to you. Its invisible PEACOCKING.. LOL!. wierd..

So on the floor with people.. these HBs start getting active about 'molesting' a buddy and then me. Butt grabbing, Abs checking etc. I am like dont bring the monster inside me out. It begins to HAPPEN. They are comfortable enough to do crazy shit to us..guys.. so we raise the bar..

Pick up women "literally" from the floor, cave man style, butt slaps, butt pinches.. (If you cant handle this) even with some of the guys (close buddies). Acting like I was gay/bisexual and then taking advantage of that 'sexual' factor to kino and chill. But all this was subconcious.. NOT TRIED. IT JUST HAPPENED. NOW ITS AN ACTIVE JOKE.

The most atrocious was me "grinding this HB and at one point literally grabbing her butt as she was behind me and lifting her of the floor". I WAS LIKE... WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING. I TELL MY BUDDIES.. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON.

Go to after party venue 2. No dice.. child squander try to bribe our way in. Same with venue 3.

Decide to take the party to a buddies place and things just begin to amplify. Sexual jokes and innuendos.. left, right & center. Crazy partying etc.

Calibrate what you say.. but more importanly SAY WHAT YOU SAY.. WITH TOTAL CONVICTION.. and NO EXPECTED RESPONSE.. VALIDATION OR APPROVAL. Some of this may go beyond the EDGE and fall into a 'WIERD' zone at times, but like any standup comedian.. LEARN TO MOVE ON WITH COURTESY LAUGHTER..

BOTTOM LINE.... BE IN THE MOMENT.

Long story short.. at one point I am dancing with this HB. She'd go grind with a buddy then would change to me.. at one point in a 3 level sanwich of 3 guys n girls (alternating) she might have felt me hard and went ahead to give "more". Later and kinoing her back on the couch for several songs.. BACK, SHOULDERS, ARMS etc. .. all with my eyes closed. Just lost in the moment.

I knew that I could kiss her make out and what not.. in terms of her "feelings". But, I did not feel CONGRUENT about where my INTENTIONS stood at that point. Also, I was afraid of going any further in front of my friends. UNCOMFORTABLE. But, did not leave my chilled out state. I did smell her hair several times.. caressed her neck & ears... back massage..

I had not connected with her, established a rapport with her at that point.. But, I knew that if I did begin that.. she was not going ANYWHERE.. But, my own INTENTIONS needed some unwinding.. All I had to do was start my JUGGLER STYLE in the moment vibing.. and she was already like putty in my hands.. what would be next...... (Although at that time everyone had moved away leaving us on the couch.. Also, she possibly might have some ASD.. but in some way seemed like everyone approved)

She did ask me how long I had known.. x, y, z and people etc. Needing that comfort, trust factor.. I was honest in my 'short term' but close friendships with some of the people

We defused that.. slowly we called it a night..

The whole night involved a lot of times when I would stay super quiet and listen riff in briefly.. at times lead the convo.. have a 'unaffectedly chilled out state & frame'. This is very very alpha and powerful. I can not even begin to tell you. Times of philosophical and spiritual conversation and times of STUPID conversation.

But, nothing was forced.. nothing was orchestrated, not was planned. No active thoughts.. or being in ones head.



WHERE DOES THIS GO..... WELL THIS IS PART OF THE PROCESS OF NATURALIZING MY GAME.. TO THE POINT I NEVER THINK..

WILL IT HELP MY WITH COLD APPROACHES.. I AM SURE IT WILL..
WILL IT HELP MY FEAR OF DOING KINO.. HELL YEAH IT WILL..
WILL IT HELP MY FRAME RESILIENCE.. I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL..


NATURALIZE YOUR GAME THE SOONER YOU CAN. THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTE TO KNOW THAT ITS NOT THE GAME.. BUT ITS YOU .. THAT WILL BUILD INNER GAME, CONFIDENCE & POWER.. OR the power will always be confined to some other "element" of your so called arsenal.

FOR THE MOST POWERFUL WARRIORS ITS THEIR INNER SELF THAT MAKES THEM GREAT.. NOT THE WEAPONS .. IF THEY GIVE "CREDIT" TO THE WEAPONS THEN IF A WEAPON IS LOST OR BROKEN IN BATTLE THEIR FAITH IN THEMSELVES SHALL BE SHATTERED.


RECALLED REFERENCES:

Wish You Were Here (Waters, Gilmour) 5:17

So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?

And did they get you to trade
Your heros for ghosts?
Hot ashes for trees?
Hot air for a cool breeze?
Cold comfort for change?
And did you exchange
A walk on part in the war
For a lead role in a cage?

How I wish, how I wish you were here.
We're just two lost souls
Swimming in a fish bowl,
Year after year,
Running over the same old ground.
What have we found?
The same old fears.
Wish you were here.

Three steps to confidence

“Low self-esteem is a weakly or inadequately fulfilled desire for self worth.”

In media and in the PU community alike people with low self esteem (LSE) are often portrayed as having negative views of themselves. They are shown as people who hate themselves because they feel inadequate. The more I thought about it however, the more it became clear that LSE is a lack of positive views rather than an abundance of negative ones.

People with low self esteem would very much like to succeed, to love and gain the admiration of others. However these goals seem mostly out of reach because the focus of people with LSE is to protect what little self worth they have. Their goal in most situations is to avoid failure, humiliation and rejection.

There are three steps to high self-esteem:
• A clear image of self (identity)
• Nurturing positive beliefs about yourself
• Growing positive expectations

Clear image of self

“I like looking feminine and I enjoy being a role model. I enjoy being a woman. It all comes down to having the confidence to be who you are.” Cathy Freeman

People with LSE lack a clear, consistent understanding of who they are, which leaves them at the mercy of events and changing situations. They life outside of themselves, because what others or events say about them is what defines them.

They favour self-protection over self-improvement, and because of this lean toward low-risk situations. They prefer not to expose themselves to situations which involve risk even if this means giving up opportunities for success and prestige.

So, who are you?

What defines you? What are your core values? What is your reality?

If you are unable (after thinking about it for a sec) to answer these questions it might be good to do some further work on this. A good starting point would be to find out who you are now, do tests like this and then decide who you want to be.

Does who you are now fit in with your goals? - If you haven’t got goals formulated, this is why you should - In what way do you need to change to achieve your goals? What will this take? Read papagaai's post about sticking points, for a good manual on how to set and achieve goals.

Nurturing positive beliefs about yourself

“We all have great inner power. The power is self-faith. There's really an attitude to winning. You have to see yourself winning before you win. And you have to be hungry. You have to want to conquer.” Arnold Schwarzenegger

Like said before, LSE comes mainly from a lack of positive beliefs. When having fewer positive beliefs about your self, to fall back on in times of stress or pressure, you will feel vulnerable and have difficulty coping with adversity. To make things worse; people with LSE tend to over-generalize the importance of failure. In the process losing self esteem is linked to anger, hostility and a lot of other bad emotions. Thus LSE becomes a self-perpetuating circle.

So we can agree it is important to form positive beliefs about your self. This can be done by affirmations (however, they seem kind of artificial to me) or you can change your inner dialogue. Changing the way you think will logically change the way you perceive yourself. Having a good idea of who you are, and want to be, will give you an outline of what thoughts are good to nurture. As a rule every thought that helps you achieve your goals is good, everything that frustrates them is bad.

If the above seems a bit abstract to you, here’s an example from papagaai’s article:

If your goal is to have at least 5 kiss-closes with different chicks, in clubs, within the next 30 days, which come forth out of cold-approaches, so that you can get more comfortable with going for the kiss then thinking of her rejecting you because you’re ugly* is a bad thought.

“Easy to say, hard to do..” I hear you say. The most important thing you can teach yourself here is being conscious of your thought. When you think about what you’re thinking, and you know what bad thoughts are, you can change them.

*Incidentally, the number one predictor of self-esteem is the evaluation of one’s looks. Growing positive beliefs about your looks will dramatically increase your confidence. Do whatever it takes to handle your looks if you are unsatisfied with them. It will pay off.

To conclude, when you have more positive thoughts, positive core beliefs about yourself will be the result. You will feel more confident in situations where you would otherwise be lost in negativity and as a result you will grow positive expectations about your environment:

Growing positive expectations

The power of having positive expectations is a much discussed subject in the community. From Napoleon Hill’s “Think and Grow Rich” to Gunwitch’s “make the ho say no” these are examples of how positive expectations can influence your self and others around you.

Having positive expectations will greatly enhance your chances of achieving your goals. You will grow them by knowing who you are and nurturing positive beliefs about yourself first.

- For this post I used the book “Self Esteem – The Puzzle of Low Self Regard” by Baumeister as a guideline. This book is a collection of academic papers on self esteem and is a very interesting read.

How Can You Be One of the Successful Pick Up Artists

Thursday, March 23, 2006
How Can You Be One of the Successful Pick Up Artists
I'm off to Los Angeles for an exclusive 1on1 bootcamp. But before I go, I thought I'd drop a few thoughts on why so few people actually succeed at this endeavor.

While attraction, seduction and picking up girls isn't a rocket science, it CAN be a difficult endeavor. People who get into the Game can usually be divided into two groups: guys who didn't develop those social, flirting and sexual skills at an early age and are finding out that they have to compress some ten years of social education and emotional intelligence into just a few years to those guys who DID develop those skills, but want MORE of an edge with women.

Primarily, I'm going to be addressing the former group.

There's a concept called the 90/10 rule (or 80/20 rule) where 10% of the people do 90% of the work. Or in the field of dating, 10% of the male population are "servicing" 90% of the single (and sometimes not so single) female population.

This can also be applied to PUAs (Pick Up Artists) and KJs (Keyboard Jockeys). Sadly, the majority of people who TRY and get into this game simply end up being the 90% keyboard jockeys with their only goal to engage in mental masturbation. The few 10% of the PUAs who do go out, only a few them will actually achieve their goals.

What does it take for a wannabe PUA to last the (minimum) 2 years to become an AVERAGE Pick Up Artist? I'm going to list certain points that I think are key that helps these guys last long enough in the Game to succeed.

• Realizing You Have a Problem - This is a toughie. No one likes to admit that they have a problem. No one especially likes to admit that they have problems with women because society TELLS MEN that it's supposed to be NATURAL. That women will simply FALL INTO YOUR LAP like mana from heaven. Which is a bunch of crock, but it's what society programs into us. And the first step is admitting to yourself that your dating lifestyle isn't what you want it to be. If you don't have a problem, then you're one of the few quasi-naturals who are in to the Game who want BETTER results as opposed to RESULTS. Congrats, now move along because this isn't meant for you guys.
  
• Comfort Zone and Change - or more specifically, the willingness to step OUT of their comfort zone. Seduction isn't logical, it isn't intuitive to most guys, and guys make the same mistakes over and over agin with women. The venues that have the highest concentrations of hotties (night venues) are also intimidating, emotional and hostile. It takes a certain hardened mindset and determination to inure the pain of going beyond what one is comfortable with. It's like that first time you went to college. Sure it was kind of scary venturing to a different state or country, but you have to do it in order to grow as a person and get your Pick Up Degree.
  
• Determination/Discipline - in order to last, you have to go out and practice. Constantly. Every week. Every weekend. One night a week barely cuts it (though it depends on where you're starting off at too). If you're at the newbie stage of still having approach anxiety when it comes to women, allot at least 3 nights a week. Regularly and consistently you have to push yourself and maintain a schedule that still allows you to go out, date women while juggling your career.
  
• Learning Ability - this can actually be a double edged sword. Too much thinking and reading leads inevitably to Analysis Paralysis. Learn the material and theory, yes. Absorb it like a SPONGE because there are SO many different styles out there that you have to select and choose what you want to incorporate into your own unique skillset and lifestyle. But don't let it overpower you in the field with all that theory.
  
• Killer Instinct - the more I teach guys, and especially Asian guys, the more I realize the need for men to have that Killer Instinct. That visceral reaction in a man that says, "I SHALL succeed. I SHALL overcome. NOTHING AND NO ONE WILL STOP ME." It's that thing inside you that says, "Whoa, this fool just tried to AMOG (Alpha Male Other Group) me" but instead of shying away from confrontation, responds with, "He's going DOWN!" It's that athletic love of competition, when two teams face each other on the battlefield and who channel the nervousness, anxiety, and fear into adrenaline and LOVE of the competition and LOVE of the Game.
  
• Time Dedication - it takes, on average, TWO YEARS for someone to become a COMPETENT (not good, but average) PUA. That's right, TWO WHOLE YEARS. Or, if you want to reframe it, it takes you two years to get your Bachelor's of Pick Up Artist Degree. In order to get your Master's, you need probably four years of training, education and field work. Obviously, your mileage may vary depending on where you are in life and how much time you can devote to it, but Pick Up is NOT a magic pill. You won't become good overnight. It takes time, dedication, and determination to stick it out through thick and thin.
  
• Love of the Game - and what can help you last is the Love of the Game. That feeling of ENJOYMENT when it comes to flirting, socializing, seducing and sarging. That RUSH when a set goes well. That feeling of contenment when you're out with your friends and simply ENJOYING the moment, the environment, but most of all, the PEOPLE.
  
• Dealing with Failure - successful people and PUAs can't dwell on failure. Learn from it. Think about it after coming home from the field. Ruminate on it. Let it marinate for a minute. Wallow in the rejection. Even EMBRACE it. VENT if you have to. Then... DISCARD IT. You've learned, you're still alive, it's time to move on. Never dwell on failure, just on what YOU CAN DO BETTER.
  

Well, that's it for now. It isn't an exhaustive list by far, but I believe these are some very essential qualities that a burgeoning PUA should have. I've seen a lot of newbies get all excited that they can now successful attract and date women, only to be flustered by how much hard, constant work it is... like exercising.

Most newbies gowere on that HONEYMOON period after a bootcamp where they can SEE that social programming and the "Code of the Matrix" that underlies every male/female interaction, the rules of attraction and why they are the where they are. But after a month or three, they drop out because they can't take the lifestyle, the time committment, and the harshness of reality.

Do you have what it takes to succeed?