The rules of the game matter alot. Until they don't matter at all. There is no one way to PU - Razorjack

I just had to post this to remind myself and others..

The rules of the game matter alot.
Until they don't matter at all.

There is no one way to PU.
--- Razorjack

Thoughts on Eye Contact - A post on MASF

http://www.fastseduction.com/masf/8/331531/

topic: Thoughts on Eye Contact (EC) (1 of 3)
board: General
from: DocJohnson / profile / recent posts by DocJohnson
(first login: January, 30, 2005 11:59 PM)
date: Friday, June 23, 2006 12:41 AM
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I just posted this at my lair as a reply to an earlier post. I would like some feedback and constructive criticism on this from those who are better at PU than I am:

"A few of my personal insights on eye contact (EC), which I believe is probably the most under-rated skills in PU:

- Many years ago I learned somewhere (on TV or at some communication seminar or something), that most people feel uncomfortable giving much EC. A great trick that makes it easy to give EC, esp. when you're starting out, is to look directly at the spot between the eyes at the top of the bridge of the nose. It avoids the discomfort of looking straight in the eye, it tricks the other person into thinking that you are maintaining good EC, and it comes across as a very confident, strong, non-creepy form of EC. Try it, even with your wingman and see what I mean.

- The way your EC comes across to the one receiving has a lot to do with your frame of mind. When you give someone else good EC, you actually project your attitude into them. If you are nervous or scared, they will feel nervous and creeped out. The attitudes I try to maintain are either relaxed contentment, a "you are already mine" confidence, or a seething passionate lust that is barely restrained. In fact, I can honestly say that good EC is, far and away, my most common opener. If I make good EC with a HB, she will either approach me, or position herself near me, so that I'll open her. If she does the latter, I'll then bust on her for being so lame in her attempt to play hard to get. By then, it's over.

- This kind of EC is also a great way to escalate. A very passionate intense sensuality can be communicated during conversational dead space that women find extremely attractive. Eventually, she will become so aroused or uncomfortable or wet by it, that she'll inevitably say "What?". When she does, don't say a word. Just give her a smile and a squint that says "You know what".

- Women consciously or unconsciously use EC to demonstrate interest. I have had hundreds of instances when there was a woman right there in proximity who I knew was purposely avoiding EC with me, for fear of making me think she was interested. Those ones are harder for me to approach, because I feel I am already at a disadvantage. They are still often approachable.

- One of the scenes I have seen recently showing the power of good EC in PU was in the movie "Alfie". Jude Law is at a bar, and these two women next to him at the bar are commenting on the "Eurotrash" in the area, referring to him. He acts completely oblivious, gives both excellent EC and a very genuine pleasant smile, and wins them in an instant - he passed their bitch test.

- This hasn't happened often enough, but when it has, it has been flawless: If a HB maintains strong EC with me for an extended period, basically the PU is over, without exchanging any words. That has only happened one or two dozen times in my life, but when it has, it has really worked well.

- Good EC can be learned, is very easy to practice, usually produces measurable results fairly quickly, and works well for lots of things besides PU.

If you try any of this stuff out, let me know how it goes."

PUA - Where is the Artist? Where is the Art? All I see is numbered coloring books & copycats.

I was commenting on the post titled "The Hunt" by Cristina who is one of Tynans Angels. Ty.. as he's more commonly known among the close brotherhood in Austin was the famous infamous Herbal..

This is what I commented and then I had a few follow on thoughts I wanted to capture.. Some thoughts I had before the GAME came into my life like a whirlwind..

Let me put it this way. Its not about guys hitting on girls for sex & girls hating them for just doing that.

Look at it this way.. Guys & Girls both want to have sex. The thing is.. what if we were a HEDONISTIC society. SEX was a free for all like shaking hands and not looked down upon.

THEN what would people be craving? Then they would get bored of sex and be craving something else that would make them feel GOOD. GOOD ENERGY, POSITIVE ENERGY from other things.. drinking, dancing, teasing etc.

Thats what we as HUMAN BEINGS.. feed on. Good energy.

When ANYONE goes out with the intent of having a fun night they want this POSITIVE ENERGY.. by themselves (alone), with their friends and those times when you bump into FUN people.

There are times when a girl would go out with the intent of dressing down & not talking to anyone.. and she sees this Smart Fun guy with a great ENERGY (it is ENERGY PLAY AFTER ALL) (whether or not he is surrounded by Fraternity AFCs or Lotsa HBs is a separate issue).

The question is DOES THAT ENERGY DRAW HER IN? The same happens when I go out.. with the intent to have fun.. FUN PERIOD. If there is a group of guys or girls or both who are having a good time.. and I FEEL THEIR ENERGY.. It draws me in.. and if they feel mine.. it draws them in. Its about ENERGY PLAY.

As Juggeler & SocialHitchiker say.. Dont value people on their outer shields.. peer inside to know who they are. But, if you dont bring in a POSITIVE VIBE to begin with.. well in the ancient times.. you would get pelted with stones.

PEOPLE RESPOND TO YOUR ENERGY & VIBE. Guys, Girls, Old people, TSA Employees at the Airport (Did I say on an average when I travel from Source Taxi to Destination Taxi I’ll push positive energy into atleast 5-10 people..).

Life is mundane when you look at it as ROUTINE. You can make anything and everything POSITIVE.. and ENERGIZED if you really looked at it more CREATIVELY. Get out of your head.. and think like CALIVIN (CALVIN & HOBBES).

Thats my philosophy.

(Damn.. that was good.. Maybe I should post this on my blog & start a workshop for side income.. LOL!. Nah.. I dont have the time.. maybe some day)

I would look at it this way..

WHAT IF SEX WAS A GIVEN? WHAT IF YOU ALREADY HAD SEX? What would you want next.. What would you want with your partner (long term, short term or ONS)?

You would love to share great ENERGY.. positive energy. This can be a non-proportional mix of fun, shared humour, chemistry, charming conversations, deep / wide conversations / rapport, some teasing, some playground antics, or a deep conversation on spirituality & meditation etc.. Share the love of food, some exotic beach, whatever.. or a quaint little coffeshop or bookstore.

That is KEY. Sex is a biological filler.. (Which is a lot of fun.. which adds "substances" into your body & mind.. I forget what its called.. Seratonin, dopamine..) and allows people to CONNECT more.. since that is when you are VERY VERY naked.. and OPEN.. not just physically but emotionally, mentally & spiritually..

They are all facilitators & indicators of LIFE - Not one of existance.

If all the people understood this.. it would be amazing. If I could teach that to all the potential 'genetically' good looking / women in my life.. that would be so fulfilling. But, not everyone tries to go there.

...

That is the ART. Art of bringing positive energy (physical, mental, emtional, spiritual) into the people you interact with.

An artist is someone who experiments and enjoys the ART.. is not bound by stencils.. its for the love of the art, the creative process & juices.. the love of the subject (the target) and the shared energy & feeling of that instance of art..

In today's PUA world.. I dont see a lot of ARTISTS. I see a lot of COPYCATS. I see a lot of so called established artists that make an abandon a painting for the sake of a sale. They are stuck to their stencils...

That is not an ARTIST. Be an artist not a copy cat.

the kino manual

Gandolf posted this on the India Lair.

From: Gandolf - view profile
Date: Tues, Oct 3 2006 11:46 pm
Email: "Gandolf"
Rating: (1 user)
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Gentlemen - this is the best thing I have ever read on kino. It's from John Alanis.
Read this again and again. Develop the correct mindset.

""Magic Touch Secrets: How To Create Immediate, Irresistible Attraction In Stunningly Beautiful Women With a Simple Gesture." "

In this report, I'm going to talk about the most important part of attraction-- actual, physical touch. Attraction cannot exist for long without some form of touch... indeed, attraction leads to the most intimate of touching, which can create even more attraction.

But, as you may have experienced, the wrong kind of touch applied at the wrong time can kill any attraction. You have to know when to touch a woman, how to touch her, and where to touch her, otherwise your touch (or the "busting of a move," as some guys call it), will get you nothing but a slap in the face, not the kind of touch you're looking for.

First off, understand this: women LIKE to be touched by men. They enjoy it. They crave it. They don't like men who are afraid to touch them. They like men who touch them the right way at the right time-- and that's what I'm going to reveal to you in this report.

There's one other thing I want to mention before we really get started, and this is one of the most powerful things you will ever learn about attraction: while women touch men they are already attracted to, touching a woman the right way can actually create attraction where there was none before. This "reverse engineering" of attraction is something very few men understand-- but it can give you an incredible leg up on any competition, AND can turn a "friend" into a hot lover, or even a long term relationship. I'll talk about this more at the end of this report, but I want you to be aware it from the get-go because it is one of the most powerful attraction-creation secrets I've discovered.

Women and men experience attraction differently. As men, it doesn't take much to turn us on-- we see a beautiful woman (or for some guys, any woman), and we're attracted, we're ready to go. For us, attraction is an "on/off" switch, and it doesn't take too much pressure to flip that switch. If a woman comes up to us, hugs us, grabs our butt, and then grabs our crotch, we think to ourselves, "hey, this is great... there should be more women like this in the world!"

But... if we were to do the same thing to a woman (unless we're already in an intimate relationship with her), we're probably going to get a visit from the law. Women don't experience attraction as we do... for them, it's much more like a volume knob (that needs to be turned up s-lo-w-l-y with gentle tension) than a switch. BUT, they eventually get to the same amount of excitement and arousal as we do, just in a different way.

Women love anticipation, and women love teasing, especially when it comes to touch. As guys, we just want to get down to business, and don't see the purpose of anticipation. That's where most guys go wrong with touching women-- they presume women respond the same way to touch that they do, make a sudden "move" and then wonder why she responds badly. Think of it this way: if you turn the volume knob on a stereo up too fast, you'll blow the speakers.

But, if you turn it up slowly, you can crank them pretty high-- and that's the way you should think about touching a woman. Even better, if you turn up the volume, then turn it down, then turn it back up a little higher, then down, then higher, etc., you'll get to where the music is playing loud and everyone's happy. That's the BEST way to think about touching a woman!

So, keeping all that in mind, how do you get started touching? The first thing to keep in mind is to avoid anything sudden or threatening. If you meet a woman for the first time, and then grab her butt (unless you are a real master of seduction like my friend Chet R.), she's probably going to feel threatened, and any initial attraction is going to be killed.

• If I meet a woman for the very first time, I do well by shaking her hand, looking her in the eye, smiling my "naughty boy smile," and then holding onto her hand for longer than any "friend" would. This immediately lets her know that I'm a guy who "understands attraction"-- most guys quickly let her hand go, and avoid eye contact, I hold onto it much longer.
  
  
• What I'll often do is shift her hand, so I'm holding her fingers in mine, just underneath the knuckle, while continuing to smile my naughty boy smile, maintain eye contact, and let her know that yes, this is indeed about attraction. Women LOVE this because it shows you're a confident guy who's not afraid to let her know, via touch, that attraction is present.
  
  
• Every meeting after that I always greet her by giving her a big hug, just like she's a long lost girlfriend (or a current one), then move my hands to her waist, just above her hips. Most guys don't touch a woman like this-- it builds sexual tension (a good thing with women), without overtly grabbing her butt, which is threatening (until you've been intimate with her). Also, touching a woman with both hands just above her waist brings back sexual memories, and at times, memories of orgasms gone by. Why? Because when she's on top, most guys will hold her by her waist, creating an "anchor" that can be "fired off," simply by recreating the touch.
  
  This is a big secret because, all of a sudden, she's thinking very sexual thoughts, and experiencing very sexual feelings in your presence, even you though you're not technically touching her in an overtly sexual place.
  
  
• Many times I will gently and rhythmically squeeze her, heightening the feelings. She links the feelings to you, and categorizes you as a man who creates attraction for her-- a good category to be in.
  
  When I sit down to talk to a woman for the first time (after I've shaken her hand or hugged her), I want to begin to build anticipation via touch-- teasing touch. Remember though, I want to turn up the volume gently, not flip a switch, so I start with the most unobtrusive, most fleeting touch, and then ramp up from there. That way there's no "sudden move" (like trying to french kiss her out of the blue) that gets me classified as a loser.

You never want to make a move, just turn up the volume, so that each touch seems a natural extension of the previous one.

This takes advantage of an extremely powerful psychological principle called, "commitment and consistency." Essentially what it says is, if you can get someone to take a smaller action, you can get them to take a bigger action they otherwise wouldn't have taken.

For example, it's very difficult to get someone to put a big, ugly sign in their yard saying they support "public safety." It is however, very easy to get someone to put a tiny sticker in their window saying the same thing-- where it gets interesting is when you go back to the people who agreed to put sticker in their window and ask them to put up the yard sign. On average 80% of them will say yes, who would have said "no way," had they not made the commitment of putting up the sticker.

The "gap" can get even wider though-- if you get people to simply sign a petition stating they support public safety, then ask them to put up the ugly yard sign, 80% of them will do it. Once people make a commitment, they tend to act consistent with that commitment, no matter how small it is.

So... the same thing applies to women and touch. When you start with a tiny, non-threatening touch, she has made a commitment to respond favorably to your touch, and will now act consistent with her new set of beliefs (yes, commitment and consistency is a way to change belief systems-- it's very powerful stuff, and you can read more about it in Robert B. Cialdini's "Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion," which you can get at Amazon for about $20.00), and respond favorably to more intimate touching. You still have to "ramp it up," but you can do so quickly and easily.

Commitment and consistency is the reason why "busting a move" usually fails miserably-- there is no prior commitment to your touch... you're asking her to put the yard sign up without signing the petition. Get her to "sign the petition," "put up the window sticker," "put up a small sign," THEN put up the big sign. Turn up the volume, don't flip the switch.

Now, you might be asking yourself, "isn't this a bit underhanded?"

The answer is NO-- this is how women WANT to be touched... they love being with a man who truly knows how to build anticipation, who knows how to slowly turn her on. Understanding this secret will get you known amongst the female world as a man who "understands women," as opposed to the "move buster" who's known as a loser.

Onward.

1. The unobtrusive touch I like to start with is either a brief squeezing of her shoulder, or a light finger tip touch on the wrist, that I quickly move away, in a teasing manner.
   
   I wait until she's laughing to touch her for the first time so she associates my touch with good feelings (this is called "anchoring" if you want the technical term). Again, it's a brief, teasing touch--
   
   I don't hold on.
   
   
2. The next time I touch her, it's in the same place, but I squeeze her shoulder briefly, or I lightly press her wrist with my fingertips, holding my touch a bit longer than the first time.
   I always look her in the eye and smile my "naughty boy smile" when I do this-- I'm very overt, letting her know that "yes, I am a man who's creating attraction for you, and I want you to know it."
   
   A lot of guys make the mistake of trying to be "covert" or "undercover"-- this can backfire because oftentimes the woman will interpret it as "lack of confidence," something that can kill attraction instantly. Women like a man who's confident enough to "turn up their volume" and let them know it.
   
   Don't be covert or sneaky-- be out in the open, and keep it in the spirit of fun and playfulness.
   
   
3. The next step is to increase the level of touch. If she's responding well to my touch (and I rarely meet a woman who doesn't), then I want to move to holding her hand, an obvious sign that this about attraction. How do I know when she's responding well to my touch? It's pretty easy, actually-- she's laughing, and smiling, and she's still engaged with me. Also, if she returns my touch and starts touching me the same way (and oftentimes she will), this is a major signal she's attracted.
   
   What I'll do next is take her hand and comment on one of her rings, or a bracelet. I'll ask her for the story behind it, while I keep holding her hand. I'll then start massaging her hand gently, again, increasing the "volume" of my touch. If she doesn't have a ring, I'll take her hand, and say, "oooh, you've got warm hands," OR "ooo, your hands are cold, let's warm them up." Either way I'm holding her hand, and slowly turning up the volume. Keep in mind this all started with a slight touch. How long does it usually take before I'm massaging her hand? Twenty minutes or so, depending on how she responds to my initial touch-- it happens pretty fast.
   
   
4. If I'm attracted to her, then I get a commitment for the next meeting, or simply invite her to come hang out at my place for a bit. When we part ways, I hug her (making sure to squeeze her waist), kiss her on the cheek, kiss her lips, pull away, then give her a full kiss, pulling away before she's done-- remember, I want to keep teasing her. Most guys let her break away first-- wrong answer. Make sure you do it first. After you've kissed her, you have permission to kiss her any time you've seen her, or whenever she comes over. We now have a physical relationship, not just the chance of one, and attraction is obviously present-- look at all the touching we've done!
   

Like I said in the beginning, you can "reverse engineer" attraction using "teasing touch." If you have a friend you'd like to have as a lover, even as a girlfriend, then the thing to do is start touching her unobtrusively whenever she's laughing. A quick squeeze on the shoulder, with you pulling away can do wonders for attraction. What you want to make sure to do is to be sure YOU'RE the one teasing, YOU'RE the one pulling away first, YOU'RE the one saying, "oh no, we're just friends."

This playful teasing touch builds all kinds of wonderful anticipation that only a guy she's attracted to can build. Soon enough you'll find yourself doing all kinds of wicked things with her, and you'll hear the magic words, "I never thought of him in 'that way,' but it just happened." Yeah-- what happened was, you created attraction that wasn't present before. You'll know you did it right when you hear those words: "it just happened." The translation is, "I was so attracted, I couldn't help myself!" A better translation is, "I was so attracted I didn't want to help myself."

OK guys, that's it for this report. Print it out and re-read it over and over again. While the information in here is brief, it's some of the most powerful "attraction secrets" you'll ever put to use. You'll never have to "bust a move" again... just turn up the volume (or for you Metal Heads who remember, "Autograph," just Turn Up the Radio!).